International Amnesia
by classenger
Summary: Harry goes abroad to track down his one true love. Draco has a plan but will everything work out the way he wants? A tale of unrequited love, romance and betrayal.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Once upon a time in a little castle called Hogwarts there lived two sworn enemies. Their names were Harry and Draco. Draco was in Slytherin and Harry was in Gryffindor. They really hated each other but for some strange reason Draco was developing a small crush on Harry. Draco loved the circular shape of Harry's glasses and the way they glinted in the sunlight. So far Harry did not have any feelings for Draco but he loved the way that Draco ate apples. He was a HUGE shipper of Drapple. This was because he hated the way Ron ate chicken, because Harry was a secret vegan. Harry secretly was in love with an asian prince called Benjamin. Benjamins real name was ARRN. But that was a secret so he didn't tell anyone. Harry liked to stalk Benjamin but because Benjamin was an Asian prince he didn't even know who Harry was. Harry even knew about Benjamin's secret truck fetish but he didn't care because he loved him. Anyway. Harry had a secret fetish for truck loving asians. But there was one problem.

Harry did not know where China was because he is British. That meant that he could not stalk Benjamin in the holidays. Harry also didn't know that Benjamin was not Chinese - he was North Korean. Harry didn't know that Benjamin's real name was Kim Jong Song. Benjamin didn't call himself Benjamin because he didn't want anyone to find out who he was, he did it because everyone called him Kim when in actual fact his first name was Jong Song.

Harry really really liked Jong Song but Jong Song didn't know that he existed. That meant Harry had to devise a cunning plan so that he could have the opportunity to meet Jong Song. Without looking like a stalker. Harry was going to China for the summer to meet Jong Song. He wanted to meet him and ask for his hand in marriage. Before he could do this though, he had to work out how to get there. He decided to go by broomstick. He left Hogwarts in a jiffy because he was too cool to go back on the train to see the Dursleys. Harry thought that the Dursleys were horrible people that thought he was a weirdo because of his fetish for truck loving asians. Harry left for China on his broomstick but he got into a spot of bother. It was very windy so he ended up in Japan instead but he still thought it was China. Harry did not know the difference between the chinese people and the japanese people. He thought that he was in China. He began his long search for the asian prince named Jong Song. But of course Harry thought he was called Benjamin. Silly Harry.

Harry found an old asian man that looked like Benjamin so he thought that was Benjamin's father. Harry looked in his mandarin phrasebook. Oh no! They all spoke japanese! The old man looked at harry like he was STUPID. Probably because he was. Harry looked for "hello" in his phrasebook.

"Wǒ ài nǐ" he said to the man.

The man looked at him strangely and walked away. Harry wondered if he pronounced it wrongly so he looked in his book. Stupid Harry! He said I love you not hello. Harry thought that the old man walked away because he found Harry's love confession to be strange but it was actually because he thought Harry was a crazy foreigner and he thought Harry was Chinese (he hated Chinese people). Harry decided that he must talk to another person, not that silly old crazy man. He walked up to a woman with a mole on her cheek.

He looked in his phrasebook and said "Nín de mó'ěr kàn qǐlái jiù xiàng yīgè yùmǐ piàn". She slapped him. Silly Harry had said"your mole looks like a cornflake" instead of "how are you today?" She was actually Chinese so she understood him.

He then said Běnjiémíng zài nǎlǐ which means" Where is Benjamin?" The lady looked at him. She was confused.

"Who is this Benjamin?" she asked. Harry pulled out a picture of Jong Song that he kept in his wallet. He was a bit confused because she suddenly started speaking English.

"My husband" he replied and kissed the picture


	2. Chapter 2

." Zhè shì xióngwěi de yàzhōu wángzǐ" the chinese lady said, suddenly reverting back to chinese because for a minute there she had forgotten that she was chinese

.Harry got sick of her speaking in Chinese so he looked in his phrasebook and said "Nǐ wén qǐlái xiàng shānzhài bǐng, yīncǐ wǒ huì chī nǐ de mó'ěr gòng jìn wǎncān" which means "you smell like cottage pie therefore i shall eat your mole for dinner".

She slapped him again and then licked her face secretly to make sure that she didn't taste like cottage pie too. Hmmm she thought, I do taste slightly of cottage pie, perhaps one day I could make a perfume of my skin cells. HOW EXCITING! I shall call it the scent of Cottage Pie Candi (since her name was Candy but she couldn't spell her name properly).

Anyway back to Harry. He still thought he was in China. What a stupid boy. Since he had spent five gruelling minutes looking for Benjamin (he was extremely lazy) he decided that he needed some retail therapy. Harry went into a souvenir shop and got a bit confused. He didn't know why they were selling Japanese souvenirs instead of Chinese souvenirs.

" Zhōngguó jìniànpǐn zài nǎlǐ?" He asked the person who was working there. He was asking her where the Chinese souvenirs were.

"Anata wa chūgokujindesuka" she said.

Harry looked at her strangely before consulting his phrasebook "Qíshí wǒ kěyǐ shuō nǐ bèndàn. Shènzhì bù chángshì wǒ shuō yīngyǔ, zhǐshì yīnwèi wǒ shì yīgè wàiguó rén. Fǎnzhèng nǐ yīngyǔ bù hǎo, zhè tīng qǐlái xiàng nǐ shuō rìběn rén huò dōngxi. Xiànzài gàosu wǒ, dào nǎlǐ dōu shì zhōngguó de jìniànpǐn ma" he said. The woman looked at him very strangely. Harry thought it was because he had been so rude to her. His comment translated to I can actually speak chinese you dimwit. Don't even try speaking English to me just because i am a foreigner. You are bad at English anyway, it sounded like you were speaking Japanese or something. Now tell me, where are the Chinese souvenirs? The souvenir lady looked at him like he was an idiot. Harry was offended. Obviously he is not an idiot. He is the greatest mind to have ever lived - the chosen one! How dare she? Harry turned around and saw Snape behind him, he was purchasing some lovely Japanese souvenirs. Harry hated Snape but was happy to see another English speaker.

"OMG!" Harry said in a diva ish voice. Suddenly Snape began to take his clothes off. Harry swore in Chinese because he was still in Chinese mode. Harry wanted to close his eyes but he couldn't, Snape was just too entrancing. Harry was shocked when all of Snape's clothing was off. He just had skin and no other body parts. He screamed when Snape began to unzip his head and his screams only got louder when he began to pull the zip down his back. Once his whole body was off Harry almost fainted in shock. It was Lucius Malfoy, Draco's father. Mr Malfoy had gone very red because now someone knew about his secret fetish for dressing up as Hogwarts staff members.

"Draco has requested your presence" Mr Malfoy spoke.

Authors Note

Thanks for reading. I hope you are enjoying the story so far. Shout out to AET for all the support.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry who was thankful that he no longer had to speak in Chinese eagerly followed Mr Malfoy. He had no idea why he actually wanted to go and he certainly had no idea why he felt all gooey inside at the mention of Draco's name. Harry followed Mr Malfoy. Mr Malfoy lived in a lovely castle in the middle of Tokyo. He always got annoyed at those damned muggles that kept walking through his living room. They also felt that Mr Malfoy was not respecting the local culture by painting Japanese swear words on the side of his house. Sometimes the Japanese people would throw sushi at the swear words that seemed to float in the air. His protective spells were so good that they did not know his castle was there. The muggles just thought that Mr Malfoy was a homeless man that likes long swishy black cloaks.

When Harry and Mr Malfoy arrived at the castle the neighbors had resorted to something else. They were throwing sushi at Harry and Mr Malfoy. Harry had not eaten in a while. Oh yum, food substances are being thrown at me. He caught one in his mouth (What a pro!) then spat it out. "Raw fish!" Harry exclaimed "What kind of monsters would do this?" Harry also had something uncomfortable in his pants. He reached down and pulled out a whale. How did this get there? Mr Malfoy told him all about the undercover Japanese scheme in which a Japanese civilian would sneak whales into someone's pockets. "You must have had no pockets this time" he told Harry. The purpose of this scheme is still unknown.

Harry also had rice in his hair. How would he look hot for Benjamin in this condition?

"Āi, kàn duìwài" Harry said. Mr Malfoy looked at him strangely "Do you know Chinese?" Harry looked at him as if he was stupid. "Of course I do you great big prat" he said. Harry wondered why Mr Malfoy didn't know Chinese himself since he lived in China but he didn't question him because he didn't want to be too rude to Draco's father. Harry did not want to appear rude. Anyway they sat in the sitting room, trying to ignore that horrible sushi being thrown at them.

"Harry" Mr Malfoy said very seriously "Draco would like to be your friend"

"Oh" Harry was disappointed. He thought that Mr Malfoy was going to tell him all about other dastardly Japanese schemes.

"The thing is" Harry explained "I would love to be Draco's friend but I have been terribly busy lately. I have been here in China for a grand total of 40 minutes and yet I have still not found the asian Prince Benjamin".

"China?" asked Mr Malfoy "This is Japan dumb boy"

"Kinichayiwa?" Harry found that he couldn't pronounce the words properly. He was much better at Chinese. That was because he had spent weeks preparing for this wonderful visit. Yet somehow it had all gone wrong. Harry felt very sad that he was in Japan rather than China. He really wanted to have found Benjamin's house by Christmas day. What the hell Harry? Christmas is not in summer unless you live in the summer hemisphere. Stupid. Harry started to cry. Real tears. Poor silly boy. Dumb and fat looks like a cat. Harry decided to ignore what Lucius said because he really wanted to be in China. He decided to pretend that he was still in China because he would be depressed if he wasn't.

Suddenly Draco came in. He began to feel very happy since Harry looked really hot with rice in his hair and snot running down his face. Seeing Harry like that, Draco knew that he wanted to marry him one day. They would have a beautiful ceremony. They would put rice in each other's hair and then eat it with giant chopsticks. It would be so romantic. But unfortunately for him Harry was still in love with Benjamin.

"Let's go to my room" said Draco "we have much to discuss". They went into Draco's room and Harry was surprised to see a huge life sized poster on Benjamin on the wall. "What is this?" Harry pointed to the poster.

"EEEEEEEEEEE" Draco squealed like a fanboy "it's only ARRN! the hottest North Korean Pop celeb around".

"No! It's Benjamin!" Harry was feeling rather stressed because Benjamin looked like a girl because he was wearing too much make up. Although he quite admired the shade of Benjamins lipstick. The way his eyeliner made his eyes looked was also pretty hot. Sigh. Harry suddenly got suspicious. What was a picture of Benjamin doing in Draco's room? Why was Draco denying that he knew Benjamin? Were they secretly in a relationship? Just to be sure Harry decided to kill Draco. It was the only way.


End file.
